


Take My Heart, Take My Breath (From My Cold Dead Hands)

by mizufallsfromkumo



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Based on Under the Red Hood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Lance (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Might write more of this, Mild Gore, Movie: Batman: Under the Red Hood, Past Character Death, Past Violence, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Temporary Character Death, let me know if I need to tag anything I haven't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-01-21 07:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21296081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizufallsfromkumo/pseuds/mizufallsfromkumo
Summary: He sees the bomb ticking down.His heart drops to his stomach.He can’t read the Galra numbers or symbols or whatever, but he knows.  Knows his team won’t make it to him in time. They just won’t. And he knows that he won’t managed to escape far enough away in time.  Or at all really.So he surrenders to it all.And the bomb goes off.Previously named Back From the Dead Tonight
Relationships: Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Lance & Shiro (Voltron), Lance/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 252





	1. Back From the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> So like a day or two ago, I got an anon ask about a Red Hood!Lance AU, and I just really fell in love with it. I had to write something for it.
> 
> Admittedly this is after the bulk of the idea. Because this idea would be long, and a lot, and I'm just not super in a place to write it at the moment. So there is a LOT of background missing from this. However you can read a bulk of it here: [on the anon's ask](https://mizu-writes-kumo.tumblr.com/post/188711955910/voltron-au-where-lance-dies-in-few-skirmishes-with), or on [my Red Hood Lance Au tag](https://mizu-writes-kumo.tumblr.com/tagged/red-hood-lance-au) on tumblr.
> 
> This does take place, after a lot of the idea, just because I really wanted this. So I wrote it first.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.

_ He was in pain. _

_ So much pain. _

_ Every fiber of his being hurt one way or another. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to scream, it hurt to move, it hurt to be still. Everything hurt so so much. It hurt to just keep existing.  _

_ But he still tried to escape. _

_ He knows everyone will understand if he just laid in a pile of pain and hurt when they found him. They can’t be mad about that, it has to be against the rules. But he still tries to make an effort to escape from the bonds.  _

_ To escape from the room he is in.  _

_ Mostly because he is stubborn and he wants to feel useful. _

_ But then he sees the bomb ticking down. _

_ His heart drops to his stomach.  _

_ He can’t read the Galra numbers or symbols or whatever, but he knows. Knows his team won’t make it to him in time. They just won’t. And he knows that he won’t managed to escape far enough away in time. Or at all really. _

_ So he surrenders to it all. _

_ And the bomb goes off. _

\---- ---- ----

Lance stared down the barrel of his pistol.

Staring down at the dead body slumped against the wall. 

Their blue blood smeared against the wall, as well as the hole he put in their head. Eyes still open, but unseeing as they stared just past Lance. The pistol they had tried to pull on him tossed aside when they limply fell to the floor.

He slowly let out a breath he didn’t remember holding.

And he could feel his extended arm shake.

Lance could see the gun in his hand shift and shake as he still held out towards his target. Even though he knows they’re not a threat to him any more. He kept it aimed at the lifeless body. Just watching the sight lines waver from the clean hole he had made with his effortless shot.

Part of him feels sick.

Not because he killed someone.

No, that feeling disappeared some time ago. Forced and driven out in a way that was almost like he never came back with it. And part of him wonders if maybe he didn’t come back with it.

Rather, because….

Because…

Because he was too slow.

The dead body was once a living assassin. One who had been hired by the Galra. One he came to Olkarion to warn the others about. One that managed to get a shot or two off, because Lance for a split second let his attention slip to the party below. 

He had been too slow to…

God, he had been too slow!

Lance just kept staring down.

Feeling himself shake as he stood there staring down.

Frozen.

He was too slow…

Too slow…

Just like…

If he had been faster…

“Lance?” A familiar voice sounded to his left.

Lance turned at the sharply towards it. 

Finding Shiro standing there in his Black Paladin armor, like he just bolted up three flights of stairs and rounded the corner to find him. With a wide eyed expression that Lance can’t figure out is good or bad. Shiro starts to drop his stance the longer he stares at Lance.

Lance was happy his helmet covers his face complete.

He was happy Shiro can’t see his face.

Not that Lance was even sure what he looked like. 

But if Lance was shaking after what he just did, feeling like he did, well...it probably wasn’t good. It is never good when he feels like he did in that moment.

“Lance,” Shiro said again, before he carefully started to move over.

Quickly, Lance moved to tuck in his pistol back in it’s holster. Seamlessly doing so with practiced ease as he stepped back. Which made it so easy to make it seem like he wasn’t just frozen above someone he just killed. He carefully sorted his jacket into place as Shiro kept approaching.

“Shiro,” Lance managed to return coolly, with a small nod of his head. Before he ruined it by asking, “Are you okay?”’

Shiro stopped in his steps for a second. Looking at Lance with something of a shocked expression, that faded away as quickly as it appeared. Faded into something that almost looked... _ relieved _ . For some reason.

Shiro nodded easily as he answered. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Lance nodded in response.

“Everyone is okay.” Shiro continued simply. Making a small gesture to the railing and the party three stories below. “A little shaken up probably, but okay.”

Without thinking, Lance turned to look. 

Something he had avoided doing out of...

He hurried towards the railing to look at the party below.

Most of the room is looked abandoned as the aliens below had fled or sought out cover from the gun fire. But he could still see a few. Some of them where slowly staringt to get the courage to peek out since there appeared to be no more fire. 

But there was no big huddle around someone.

Or at least in a way that signified an injury.

And no one being laying on the floor…

Everyone was okay.

No one was…

“Lance?” Shiro’s voice suddenly sounded very close to Lance.

Then suddenly Lance can feel a hand on his shoulder.

Sharply Lance turned and pulled away from the feeling. Swatting off Shiro’s hand with a sharp glare the other can’t see. Lance quickly moved, more like stumbled, a good few steps back from the Black Paladin. 

“Sorry,” Shiro apologized as he held up his hands in surrender. “I...are you okay, Lance?” He asked with a concerned look on his face.

One that makes Lance swallow.

“Yeah, of course, I’m fine.” Lance lied in return with a roll of his shoulders. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Shiro opened his mouth like he was going to say something. 

His gaze briefly flickered to the party below, where more and more beings were starting to reemerge, and start to move about again. Then he turned to look Lance up and down. Lance can feel himself tense at the action. Because it maybe felt like Shiro could see right through him.

But then he closed his mouth with a sigh.

“Who’s--”

“An assassin hired by the Galra.” Lance informed flatly, as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “One of five...if my intel is valid. Which it is considering I got it myself from the Galra Commander that hired all of them.” He fished out the copy of the data disk he had taken with all the info. “I was just going to give this to some Olkari to pass on to one of you guys, but you’re here so…” He quickly flicked it over to Shiro, who just managed to clumsily catch it. “Everything you guys will need to know is on that. I’ve already handled the Galra Commander and this guy for you...so you’re welcome.”

“Oh…” Shiro said as he looked down at the disk.

Lance hummed flatly, before he turned on his heels. 

He needed to get the hell out of there and quick. 

After all none of the Paladins were even supposed to know he was there. They don’t usually like to see him anyway after ...well  _ everything _ . And he still needed to find the other four assassins before they could try to make a hit on the Paladins. They were bound to start making a move soon since the first had failed. Or they were bound to be more careful and harder to find.

Nor did Lance want to stand around to hear Shiro try to lecture him.

His methods where his methods. 

They made sense to him, and more importantly, they worked.

But mostly he wants to get away from the fear, and the panic, and everything he is feeling inside. He wanted to run away from all of it.

“Now I should get going.” Lance said as he started to move away.

“Lance, wait!” Shiro called quickly.

He just managed to grab Lance by the arm. 

Much to Lance’s surprise as Shiro managed to yanked him back a bit. Using Lance’s imbalance to tug and move him a little closer.

Lance had half the sense to tear his arm away. 

One quick tug, and maybe a kick to send Shiro stumbling back so he can’t grab him again. That was more than enough to give Lance enough room to make in escape and slip back into the shadows and the cracks.

But then...

“Please, don’t go.” Shiro said.

Lance turned sharply to look at him. 

Afraid for a second, maybe he heard wrong. Because the Paladins never ask him to stay. They scream and yell and want nothing to do with him. Or they look at him so disappointingly it drives him crazy.

“What…?” He asked slowly.

“Don’t go,” Shiro repeated easily. “Come back down with me and join the party...or just stand in a quiet corner, whatever. Just run away. Stay, please.” He added with a look on his face that Lance could only describe as a little desperate.

And it made him hurt.

“I can’t.” Lance returned. 

“Please, we want to help you.”

Lance swallowed at the words. 

There was a part of him that wanted to believe those words. 

But he knew better.

The Paladin’s did want him any more. Not after how quickly they replaced him with Allura. And definitely not after everything Lance had done, and  _ plans _ to do. He’s crossed a line he couldn’t go back from ,and he doesn’t regret crossing it either.. They wanted him locked away for good and not think about him again.

“No, you don’t.” Lance snapped firmly.

He tried to tug his arm out of Shiro’s hold. 

However, the Black Paladin held tight. Almost seeming to anticipate the move. Quickly moving to counter Lance’s struggle and blows to get him to let go. Quickly moving behind Lance. Trapping him a hold from behind, and pinning Lance’s arms to his front. 

And he held fast against Lance’s attempts to break and struggle free.

“Yes, I do.” Shiro grunted out firmly.

“No, you don’t.” Lance growled out as he struggles. He tried to ram Shiro into the wall or pull him towards the ground, but Shiro just seems to expect and counter it. “You guys want nothing to do with me. Not after everything I’ve done. Not after everything I’ve done.” Lance said in something of a plea where he could hear his voice break. “Now, let me... _ go!” _

He fruitlessly pushes and kicks.

And then his helmet hiss at the release being pressed.

Lance freezes as it falls to the floor in the struggle. 

When did Shiro...

He watched it bounce away before it rolled to a stop.

Just in the right spot where Lance can see the reflection of himself in Shiro’s tight hold. 

Where he can see the fear and weakness. See the pain and trauma he hates seeing more than anything. See everything he tries to run from and hide under the helmet.

No.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, nononono!

Nononononononononono!

He can’t…

He didn’t ask for this.

He didn’t want this.

They can’t…

They can’t see him like this. 

“Lance, it’s okay, I got you.” Shiro’s voice calmly cuts through everything. “I got you.”

Something breaks a little inside Lance.

And he surrenders to it.


	2. At the Speed of Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Where_ are they, Shiro?!” Lance snapped roughly as he pushed in a bit harder for a moment, as if to make a point or something.
> 
> “Do you want something to eat?” Shiro asked suddenly.
> 
> Lance froze.
> 
> Blinking him at him for a moment.
> 
> Clearly caught off guard by the words. And not looking rather sure what to do about them either. Though, not for too long, Lance seems to recover quick enough.
> 
> “What..._no!”_ Lance snapped back. “Shiro, I want my goddamn stuff! Now tell me where it is, _dammit!.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did another part of this. I think this has gotten something of a plot and an idea behind it. 
> 
> And well guess I am doing it know.
> 
> So this fic is from Shiro's POV and takes places after the first part.

_ He was running. _

_ Running as fast as his body could. _

_ Pushing himself to go even faster, and ignoring the burn. In his legs and his lungs. In every part of him. Because it didn't matter. _

_ What matter was getting to him. _

_ Getting to Lance to help him as soon as possible. They had already wasted time not noticing his capture. And then more trying to triangulate where the signal from his suit was coming from it. _

_ But Pidge had done it. _

_ Used the damage report of Lance's suit, coupled with Sendak boasting call, to figure out where.  _

_ It's not perfect...but it's enough. _

_ Because he sees a building. _

_ He burst forward with little care for enemies.  _

_ There is just no time to. _

_ But then an explosion tears through the air in front of him. _

_ And, suddenly he his flying backwards. _

* * *

Shiro stares down at the datapad in his hands as he walked down the Castle halls.

It's telling him something important.

Well not really.

He was looking at a report from the previous week. One he had already gone over with everyone in a time when it was relevant and important, but now it wasn't. It was really just something for him to look at, and helped give him the illusion that he was just walking down the hallway while reading something. 

That was not important.

What was important was the small notification on the screen.

Tucked away in the top right corner of the datapad screen. A small tab Shiro could easily flick away before anyone could see in one quick motion. Making it like it was never even there in the first place.

It was something Pidge had rigged to be sent out to everyone. Well mostly just Coran or him. Given that out of everyone else on the Castleship, they would be likely to respond to it in a timely matter. 

Which was what Shiro was going about doing.

The notification simply read:  _ Lance’s door opened _ .

It had been set to send only if the door to Lance’s old room opened from the inside . And  _ only  _ from the inside, without a prior open from the outside. Given that no one had really entered Lance’s old room since Shiro placed Lance on the bed to sleep…after his breakdown in Shiro’s arm.

Well…

It meant Lance had woken up and ventured out of the room.

And Shiro was on his way to intercept him before he could do anything.

Not that he thought Lance  _ would _ do anything.

But the notification was something of a compromise with Allura. 

She had wanted to put Lance in a containment cell, or put a lock on his door that only one of the Paladin’s could open. Trap and watch him. Take his weapons and his helmet away and make him earn them back. Prove to everyone that they could trust him again, and that there was something still worth saving in him. Show that he was an ally that could stand with them.

Yet Shiro had reasoned that wasn’t the way to do it.

He understood why Allura felt that way.

The last time Lance was in the Castleship after his... _ death.. _ .he snuck in. For what reason, is still largely unknown to them. He knocked Coran out eased passed all security measures with ease. And Allura and him had gotten into a brawl of sorts in Blue Lion’s hanger, and he didn’t hold back either.

But it just wasn’t the way they needed to go about it.

It was clear to him, more so now than before, that Lance feels they don’t want him back.

They don’t want to help him.

That they don’t care about him anymore.

He was alone and hurting in the shadows with nowhere to go. Still caring about the well being of people felt turned their backs on him with good reason. Things he did that were a consequence of something he didn’t ask or choose to happen to him. He was looking for a sliver of what he felt like he can’t have anymore.

What Lance needed was show they still trusted him and could welcome him back. 

It didn’t need to be completely blind trust and faith. Lance, after all, had hurt everyone one way or another. There was damage to both sides of everything. But it needed to be  _ something _ substantial enough to make him get they don’t feel the way he thinks, and it's not some kind of trick.

Shiro sighed to himself a bit.

It had been a lot.

Lance broke on his arm.

All with a scream that still Echoed in Shiro’s ears.

So much pent up stuff had come flooding out of him in a steady stream. He can still feel the way Lance latched on to him when he moved him around to comfort. He buried himself in Shiro and just rambled out in a sob thing that were half coherent for...Shiro honestly didn’t know how long other than a while. 

And then Lance just fell asleep in Shiro’s hold.

And it was just... _ a lot. _

Shiro glanced up from the datapad as he rounded a bend in the hallway. As he would pretty much any time he was walking around a bend and reading something. Maybe perhaps not as long. Just enough to make sure he doesn’t run into anyone wandering about the halls.

But well, he was nearing Lance’s old room.

And, Shiro could only guess which direction Lance went.

Okay to be fair there were only two directions Lance could go. 

Right or left.

Shiro was on the path he figured Lance would most likely take. Given it lead to well...the main communal living parts of the Castle of Lions the quickest. It was the path they all memorized rather quickly after arriving in Blue Lion all those years back. And they didn’t bother too much to explore the winding halls of the other way too much.

It seemed natural that Lance would just...take it.

And yet…

“Lance.” Shiro said in a warm breath as he rounded the bend to find the ex-paladin there.

There was Lance in the middle of the hallway.

Carefully seeming to make his way towards everything, looking like he doesn’t completely trust everything around him. Almost like he expected someone to jump out and him, or some alarm to go off. His arms close to his side, and his fingers appearing to have a twitch has he looked like he was hiding his discomfort and mistrust.

But he at least looked... _ rested _ .

He was still dressed in the black undersuit of his new armor. Which does little to show the definition Lance had developed in his time after his... _ death _ . The cargo-esque bottoms of it, stuffed into his dark boots. Shiro tried not to feel disappointed the other hadn’t changed into the old clothes of his that Shiro had laid out nicely for him. 

The clothes that were on Lance’s back in they arrived, in the hope that Lance put them on, and it would make things easier. 

But he hadn’t.

Maybe they didn’t fit like they use it…

After all, it had been years since they went to space.

Though, that just instantly felt like a lie Shiro was telling himself.

And it probably was.

The other stopped instantly at the sound of his name.

Quickly looking at Shiro for a second, before he started walking towards him.

“You’re up.” Shiro observed pleasantly. Discarding the notification from the datapad as he did so. Keeping his calm as Lance approached him. “It’s been a good twelve vargas since you...ugh...passed out on me. Figured some rest might do you some good.” Shiro continued easily, as if he doesn’t notice the anger boiling in Lance’s movements. Or that he is sort of charging forward and reaching for Shiro. “I didn’t know where to take you, but we figured your old room in the Castleship might work. Are you feeling okay...or any bit bett--ah!” 

Shiro was suddenly slammed against the wall and held there.

“Where is it?” Lance asked sharply.

He glared at Shiro as he held him in place. 

Bracing Shiro against the wall with his right forearm pushing against Shiro’s chest. Press close into the Black Paladin’s personal space. And there had been a flash of metal in Shiro’s vision in Lance’s left hand. Likely a knife Shiro missed with he tried to disarm Lance’s sleeping from. Shiro couldn’t say for sure, because Lance wasn’t really touching anything with it. Just holding  _ whatever _ it was at his throat like it was.

Shiro calm doesn’t waver any of it.

He knew this was a deflection of sorts.

All bravo and an act on Lance’s part, because he is scared and vulnerable. Shiro had seen it a handful of times before. The night before included. It was what gave him faith that Lance could come out the other side of things decently fine with help.

Lance acted all tough and uncaring to hide. 

To protect himself.

But it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Not even when he glared at Shiro like he hated him.

“Where’s what?” Shiro asked in return calmly.

“My stuff.” Lance growled back. “My  _ stuff _ . You know, my jacket, my armor, my weapons, and my helmet. Where are they? Tell me where they are so I can get them and go. The quicker I get them, the quicker I get out of here and gone.”

Shiro just looked at him.

A heavy weight seems to sink into his stomach at the words.

That even after waking up in his old room on the Castle, and finding the door completely unlocked, Lance still feels like he has to run. That he just wanted to grab his things and run the hell away again before he out stays his welcome.

“ _ Where _ are they, Shiro?!” Lance snapped roughly as he pushed in a bit harder for a moment, as if to make a point or something.

“Do you want something to eat?” Shiro asked suddenly.

Lance froze.

Blinking him at him for a moment.

Clearly caught off guard by the words. And not looking rather sure what to do about them either. Though, not for too long, Lance seems to recover quick enough.

“What... _ no! _ ” Lance snapped back. “Shiro, I want my goddamn stuff! Now tell me where it is,  _ dammit! _ .”

“It’s just that Hunk made breakfast this morning.” Shiro continued like Lance hadn’t spoken. “And last I checked there were still leftovers because some supplies where going bad or something, so there was a lot to begin with.”

Lance pushed away with Shiro with a sharp growl. 

Shiro took it all easily. 

Exhaling a small grunt as he was pushed into a wall a bit more. But he kept his eyes fixed on Lance as he stumbled back, glaring at Shiro in frustration. He looked half a second away from punching Shiro, but the other knew he wouldn’t.

He sighed softly, before he asked, “When was the last time you had a real meal, Lance?” 

Lance opened his mouth to say something.

“One with real actual prepared by hand food.” Shiro clarified before Lance could say anything. “Not food goo, or a prepacked space meal pack. Food where you actually sat down and ate something prepared and cooked for you.”

Lance’s eyes turn to floor suddenly.

Shiro doesn’t care what Lance figures out what to say. 

The look away was something that told Shiro it had been a while. He even wondered if was even a pleasant experience for Lance. Most of the start of his life after revival didn’t sound like it had anything pleasant in it. Save maybe a few kind souls.

“Come on, let’s get you something to eat.” Shiro said easily, reaching out to touch Lance’s arm. But pulls back with Lance flinched away slightly from it. Shiro smiles despite it, though. “After that, I’ll tell you where your stuff if, okay?”

“Promise?” Lance asked as he crossed his arms.

“Cross my heart.” Shiro said lightly. 

“And hope to die?” Lance asked with a raise of an eyebrow and a flat look.

“Ugh…”

Lance snorted slightly. “It’s fine, I know a.. _ decent _ revival place.” He stated with a bit of teasing grin that lingered for a few seconds before it fell a bit. Shifted into something that looked unsure and uncomfortable behind a mask of neutral “Are you going to…” 

“Yeah.”Shiro said with a clearing of his throat.

He turned on his heels and let the way to the dining area.

Lance fell instep behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I imagined Lance cried himself to sleep in the last chapter. Partly because he was so emotionally drained and getting everything out. But I also sort of have the idea that Lance doesn't sleep well or much in this idea, meaning he was actually also just really tired.
> 
> And Shiro was a sweetheart and took him to his old room to sleep it off. (I sort of have it detailed in my head, and might write a part for it later, but who knows if I'll do it. But it is very angst and soft)
> 
> I do plan to try and right something from each other the other's POV and interactions with Lance. I have a plan for Hunk's POV next, followed by Keith's. I am still trying to figure out Pidge, Allura, and Coran's POVs (maybe Matt's too, IDK) but I'll get there. I am going to try and keep the same format through out. A small flashback at the start, followed by the plot of the story. After I get through everyone, I am going to go back and write some out of order chapter stuff. Because there is a Lance/Shiro POV idea I have between Hunk's and Kieth's. But I don't know when or if I will get there.
> 
> Any way, hope you enjoyed it.


	3. The Voice of the Unheard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _They shouldn’t have left him._
> 
> _Something in his gut told him that._
> 
> _That they shouldn’t have left Lance behind on that moon. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while...but here is Hunk's POV chapter. It closely follows after Shiro's chapter.
> 
> I will say, at the start of this, there is something about this that I just don't...like? But when I try to rework it I can't think of how to fix it so I do. Everything is how I planned it. So I don't know maybe it has just been a while.
> 
> Anyway hope you like it.

_ They shouldn’t have left him. _

_ Something in his gut told him that. _

_ That they shouldn’t have left Lance behind on that moon. _

_ They should have taken his body with them, put it somewhere safe until they worked out a plan of what to do. They shouldn’t have had the funeral there and buried Lance in the ground. He had the feeling in his stomach about the whole thing. _

_ But his pleads had no pull. _

_ Shiro was too out of it. _

_ And Allura… _

_ Allura had tried her best with the primitive culture of the moon. Done her best to ease their fears so everyone would have a compromise. All while in the rough mourning they were all experiencing in the wake of everything. She really had done her best when no one else could. And she apologized for that fact that she couldn’t do better. _

_ But in the end, they still left Lance. _

_ And he can’t blame anyone for it. _

_ Not really any way. _

_ He just has that feeling in his gut that they shouldn’t have left Lance. _

_ And he doesn’t know why. _

* * *

Hunk bit his lip as he figured the best way to place some space rolls on a plate.

Next to the meat…or next to the space cauliflower rice.

Or by the roasted root-_ things _ with some gravy drizzled over.

Or next to the meat.

Or maybe one by the meat and one by the cauliflower rice.

Or on top of everything with gravy

Or…

He could feel Pidge staring at him from across the table. All with a raised eyebrow as she pretended to be looking at her datapad. Silently asking just what he was doing with the two purple dinner rolls in his hand. And if she should bring verbal attention to his internal struggle or just let it work itself out.

Hunk chose to ignore her.

Because, well, he would very much _ not _ like to talk about the fact that he had already plated nine other dishes. With a whole collection of foods he had been stress cooking for like the last ten hours. Or the fact that he used nearly all of their food supplies. Meaning they were probably all going to have to eating food goo for like a good two weeks. And he was just trapped in a nervous cycle of plating food, had been doing it ever since Coran told them, Lance was likely awake.

No, he would rather focus one where to put space dinner rolls.

The presentation had to be just right.

It’s just optimal to a good eating experience. 

And Hunk just wants everyone to have the best eating experience that is possible. So he has to get it just right.

And…

Oh, move the space cauliflower rice down towards the meat and gravy. So it could soak up the juices and the access gravy. But still keep it by the roast roots. And put the rolls more towards the edge where the cauliflower protects it from everything. Allowing the eater to decide how best to use them.

Yes, that was perfect!

“Now just a little swirl of gravy…” Hunk stated with a small as he swirled the ladle full of purple gravy over the plate. Watching it all fall perfectly in place. Hunk smiled as he picked it up to present it. “And...Ta-da!”

“Pretty.” Keith said the sound of something crunching.

Hunk grinned to himself as he placed the dish back down, before he turned to the other paladin. Only for his grin to fall into a frown when he realized the other wasn’t even looking at him one bit. His gaze fixed on the dining hall doors as he took a huge bite of dried out space toast stick Hunk had made for one of the many dips he created.

Hunk let out a sigh as his shoulders dropped.

It was no secret to Hunk as to why.

No matter how much Pidge and Keith thought they were being so sneaky about it. And they really weren’t. It was clear as day to Hunk what they were doing. Ever since they had entered the dining hall, he just knew.

Keith doesn’t hang around for food. 

And Pidge doesn’t usually keep her bayard out in the open or use a datapad.

They were acting as Hunk’s protectors.

Which felt highly unnecessary for a lot of reasons.

One of them being Hunk is actually pretty good and defending himself. 

He was after all in a room with a lot of hot liquids, slippery foods, and heavy plates. Not to mention, there was a lot of alien cutlery at his disposal, and he had figured out to use just about all of it. And it wasn’t like he could throw a decent punch when he needed to either.

Another being, he was pretty sure he was the last person Lance would just attack.

Yes, since coming back to life, Lance did a lot of not great things towards them.

But, like, Lance was always the one yanking or shoving him out of the way of danger. Even when Hunk didn’t know it was him. There wasn’t exactly any reason Hunk could think of for Lance to lose his cool towards Hunk. He was the one that had been reaching out to Lance one way or another since they found out he was alive again.

Yet, both of them where there.

“The least you could do is look at it before you say something.” Hunk grumbled loudly towards Keith.

Keith turned to look at Hunk.

He opened his mouth to start to say something.

“No, it’s too late.” Hunk huffed loudly as he heard Pidge giggle on the other side of the table. “I’m not even holding it anymore. And you don’t have to say it like it is the tenth time you’ve said in like the last twenty minutes okay.”

“But I have.” Keith said awkwardly. 

Hunk signed as he picked the dish he just plated. Shaking his head as he carefully moved it off to the side with the other nine plates he had already prepared. He can hear Keith give a little cry of pain, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor, and a hissed “the point, and you” from Pidge. He doesn’t turn around to look at them.

Rather he looks at the ten plates of food. 

All made to perfection.

And grabs another empty dish.

“You’re making another one?” Pidge asked when Hunk turned back with it.

“Yeah.” The Yellow Paladin returned easily.

“Again?!” Keith said with a tone of underlying irritation and confusion. 

Hunk chose not to pay it too much attention as he set the plate down on the table in front of him. Glancing over the copious amounts of food he had prepared and laid out over the course of the morning.

“Why?” Keith asked.

“Because what would be the first thing you would want to do after you woke up after being asleep for twelve hours?” Hunk asked in reply.

“To go pee.” Pidge returned.

“Okay, fair point.” Hunk said as he turned to look at Pidge. Who had for once put her datapad down on the table. “But not what I was going for. What would you want after that?”

“Probably the internet.” Pidge returned.

Hunk turned to Keith quickly for some help. Because well he just couldn’t do anything with that answer. He would also rather not explode for that very Pidge answer to the question. And he hoped Keith would just say the right thing and he wouldn’t even have to address the statement at all. 

Only to get a shrug after a few moments passed.

“No, jeez, what is wrong with you two.” Hunk snapped as he glared at the two of them. “The answer is _ food _. Lance is probably going to want food at some point. So I’m making him a plate or two...or ten. You know so he has options.” He added with an awkward grin. “He’s probably going to be hungry, and he hasn’t had my cooking in a while...so...you know...options.”

“Right.” Keith said slowly.

Hunk frowned at the way he slide eyes to the table of food as he did so.

Yet before he could say anything in return, the doors opened with a soft whoosh.

Quickly he turned to look at the sound.

Shiro walked in the door with a gentle sort of smile on his lips, despite the tenseness that is coiled in his body. Hunk doesn’t miss the way he does a quick visual scan of the room as he entered. His eyes land on Keith and Pidge for a second. But he ultimately relaxed a little after a second or two.

Likely because he didn’t see Allura.

Then he turned behind him a bit, with a gentle and welcoming expression on his face.

Revealing Lance behind him.

Dressed in the dark undersuit of his new armor, minus the groves. His hair a little tousled and askew from sleep. He looked ten times more tense then Shiro was when he came in. His fingers twitch at his side, in the same nervous and tense way Hunk remembered they did as they did at the Garrison. The only difference is Lance’s arm was closer to his side.

Lance squares his shoulders as his eyes fall on Keith for a moment, and then Pidge and her bayard. An intimidation attempt that falters a bit when Lance’s eyes land on Hunk and then turn back to Shiro. Shifting into a more unsure way to hold himself.

Which leads to more finger fidgeting.

“See, plenty of breakfast leftovers.” Shiro said easily as he looked at Lance.

Lance’s eyes drift to the food on the table.

In a way that said _ that is more than just breakfast leftovers _. Though the action doesn’t completely offend Hunk. Because like he knows there is basically a roast on the table. One he slow cooked for like 8 hours.

So…

“Lance, buddy!” Hunk called cheerily. Ignoring the way Lance jumped a bit at the words. “Glad to see you’re awake. You must be hungry. Go on, have a seat at the table, wherever you want and let me make you a plate!” He continued as he grabbed the empty plate in front of him.

He watched Shiro motion towards the table. Inviting Lance to go first as he said something to him. Hunk didn’t really hear what he said. He turned to look at the food on the table instead.

Quickly he got to work piling stuff on the plate.

He took a big scoop of magenta space mash potatoes plopped in on the plate. Before moving to grab a few of the striped green bacon like..._ thing _, Hunk still wasn’t sure what it exactly was. Dropping in unceremoniously on the plate before he moved towards the crepes he made recently. Followed by a shaving of the roast and a harty ladle of gravy. And a pile of some blue space eggs, and some sort of cheese pastry he made up.

Not once doing anything to properly plate a single thing.

But Hunk honestly really didn’t care as he grabbed a few fried roots that tasted kind of spicy. He was almost too excited by the fact that he was feeding Lance again to bring himself to care. 

Honestly it was all just going to end up in Lance’s stomach anyway. 

Plus Lance was someone that kind of mashed things together any way.

So there was no point.

He waved Pidge off though when he felt her looking at him.

Hunk topped the whole thing with a space biscuit. Beaming as he balanced it perfectly in the center of everything. Before grabbing some of the Altean’s silverware. Then he turned back to look at Lance.

Finding Lance was seated at the table.

In a rather strategic way too. 

He was two seats over from being across from Keith. Well out of Keith’s lunging zone. Though Lance was locked in something of a wary staring stand off with him. Shiro was seated right beside him on his left. Completely between Lance and Pidge. Denying Pidge a clear shot at him with her bayard. Shiro smiled as if nothing was wrong and there was nothing to be tense about...despite being well _ tense _ about everything happening.

Hunk hummed happily as he easily rounded the table with the plate.

“Voila!” Hunk declared as he put the plate down in front of Lance. Not missing the slight tenseness that stiffened Lance’s shoulder at the action. “A nice big breakfast for you, buddy.” He beamed out as he placed the silverware down. “Enjoy.”

Slowly, Lance turned to look up at him.

Hunk kept the large warm smile on his face.

But he realized it was the first time he had really gotten a _ good _ look at Lance since discovering he was revived. Like a really, really good up close look of his friend. Though to be fair, like ninety-seven percent of the time they had run into each other, Lance had his blue helmet over his whole head. And he was blown away by how _ different _ Lance looked.

There was a small scar that went over his left eyes, from just about the center of his forehead to his left cheek. The thickest part, being over his eye. 

His facial features were sharper, but not in a way that came completely with age. They were too sharp, like Lance doesn’t exactly eat _ enough _ . There were faint bags under his eyes like he doesn’t sleep _ enough. _ And his blue eyes had a redness on the edge from the breakdown he had. His hair and skin didn’t look as well kept. 

He truly looked worn and tired. Small even as he sat in the chair, looking unsure and uneasy. Hunched over slightly like he use to do at the Garrison when he was uncomfortably forced out of his comfort zone. All with a distance to his eyes, Hunk never remembered being there. It makes him want to reach out and comfort Lance, while at the some warning him to not touch.

“Thanks, Hunk.” Lance said after a beat of silence. “I...um...I…” He started before he turned to look down at the food. “Thanks for the food.”

“Yeah, sure no problem.” Hunk beamed out as Lance picked up a fork. “Always happy to feed my friends. Now eat up and enjoy.” 

Lance hums hesitantly.

His fingers fidget with the fork on his hand idly. 

Spinning it in his hold a few times.

Hunk turned to look at Shiro. 

To find a look of concern was washing over his face and his smile had fallen into a bit of a frown. And it kept falling each time Lance didn’t dig into the food. It looked like he was trying to look resuring, despite knowing something no one else in the room knew.

They share the briefest moment of eye contact.

Slowly, Hunk sank down into the seat next to Lance.

Watching carefully as the other refused to eat.

How he shifted and fiddled, and lightly poked at the food. He quickly realized, Lance was looking at Pidge and Keith then his food again. Sometimes he would look to Shiro or Hunk, but not too often. Shifting under everyone’s watchful eyes of him.

Hunk turned to look at Keith and Pidge.

Quickly trying to think of something to say that might clear them out of the room for a moment or two. Something that wouldn’t sound like a weird thing for him to ask. Or didn’t sound like he was flat out asking Keith and Pidge to leave. He had a feeling that wouldn’t help Lance out one bit.

He could ask them to get something for the kitchen.

That wouldn’t sound out of place where they were. It would just be his insistence of them going that would probably give it away. Because he knows Pidge and Keith won’t just go because they know everything Hunk made was done and laid out.

Yet before he could formulate something for them to get, Lance took a bite of food.

Hunk felt himself grin at the action.

He watched Lance chew for a moment, then swallow.

Then Lance went still.

But then Lance curled in his shoulders. Like he did when he was trying to make himself appear smaller. Usually when he was being scowled or in a situation he was uncomfortable in, and he was willing it to all just _ go away _.

“I can’t do this.” Lance whispered suddenly as he placed the Altean fork down.

In such a quiet and small voice, Hunk nearly didn’t hear what he said. He only heard it because of his close proximity to Lance.

“Lance?” Shiro asked, leaning in towards the ex-Blue Paladin.

“I can’t do this.” Lance repeated sharply. “I can’t do _ whatever _ this is, okay!”

“Lance…” Shiro tried again.

“_ Dammit, _ Shiro!” Lance snapped loudly as he turned harshly to Shiro. He stood up harshly as he did so, slamming his hand down at the table. His chair fell to the ground behind him, causing Keith to jump up from his seat. “I know we had a deal, but I can’t do it. I can’t sit here and _ pretend _ everything is dandy, cause it is not. I’m not going to fall for whatever trap this turns out to be, okay.”

“It’s not a trap.” Shiro said.

Lance let out a bark of laughter that sounded rough. “I’m half crazied, not _ stupid.” _

“Could have fooled me.” Pidge’s voice sounded.

Shiro was quick to more than wedge himself in Lance’s way. Standing up quickly and blocking Lance’s attempt to half lunge forward towards the Green Paladin. Shiro also managed to look back enough for a quick glare at her as Lance eased back a bit.

“Lance, buddy, not a trap.” Hunk said carefully behind Lance. 

Reaching out to slightly one of his arms. Only for it to be yanked back like the touch burned him, as Lance whipped around to look at him. The distant look in his eyes is more distant, and his expression is just off kilter enough to hide everything. Hunk held his hand up quickly in surrender.

“It’s just food.” Hunk said easily. “All it is, buddy. Just food for you to eat.”

“Stop!” Lance snapped at him harshly. “Just stop.”

“Lance…”

“Hunk, I said stop.” Lance continued roughly. “I’m not your buddy, or pal, or your friend, okay. The Lance that was that died in the explosion. And the water didn't bring him back. Doesn’t matter how much you think they did, they didn’t. He’s not coming back. All that’s left is what you see before you. So just stop, okay.”

“Hey don’t yell at Hunk!” Keith snapped on the other side of the table.

“Stay out of this, _ mullet! _” Lance returned sharply, not once moving his gaze from Hunk.

Hunk finched a bit at the sharpness of Lance’s words.

But he didn’t back down.

“We’re just worried about you, Lance!” He snapped back.

And that did something.

Lance tensed harshly at the words.

His breathing caught a little bit.

His expression shifted into a mix of emotions Hunk had never really seen before. Only for a second before he organized his face back into the neutral expression. But it never fully reached his eyes. Even though that seemed to haze over with a distant gaze, there was a sort of panic and fear that was held in them too as Lance looked at Hunk.

“It’s better if you don’t.” Lance said harshly, before he turned on his heels and stormed towards the door. 

“Lance…” Hunk called out.

“I’m going to go look for my stuff. The sooner I find it all, the sooner I am out of everyone’s hair.” Lance said before he hit the button for the doors to open. “And it’s probably for the best.” He added before he turned to walk back towards the rooms they used on the ship. 

The doors closed sharply behind him.

Shiro breathed out a curse.

Hunk turned to see the older paladin run a hand through his hair for a moment.

“I’ll follow and talk to him.” Shiro said with a sigh as he looked up at Hunk.

Before he quickly jogged his way to the doors.

And all Hunk could do was just nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't write Hunk often, so I am sorry if his characterization is just a little off. But I do think I capture how I pictured him reacting very well in this chapter.
> 
> And also, Lance actions are all sort of reactions and running away from the mix of emotions he is having. I know I've said it on tumblr, but eating and sleep are not "luxuries" for Lance. He eats to function, sleeps to function, and it's like the bare minimum. Having good food that reminds him of better times (under the watchful eye of most of his friends) he doesn't want to feel the rush of emotions that stirs in him. So he reacts, roughly in response to it. And just try to get away from everything. Also in the cult, people that helped Lance or showed him kindness, got hurt or punished. So he relates people helping him with bad things happening to them, and he doesn't want that to happen to everyone.
> 
> That being said, if it would have just been Shiro and Hunk, it would have been different. I still think he would have struggled, but it wouldn't have been so bad. Shiro and Hunk likely could have coursed him to keep eating a more than one bit.
> 
> I wish I did like how this turned out more, but whatever.
> 
> I do hope you all enjoyed this.

**Author's Note:**

> Ta-da, that's it.
> 
> Basically I really wanted Shiro giving Lance a hug, and Lance breaking down into it. Mostly because of a line I could not fit in, where Lance lets it slip that he asked Shiro if he is okay because he almost died, and no one ever asked Lance if he was okay after dying. And I did want it to be Shiro, because well for one thing, I am a Shance bitch, and two I really think Shiro would be the first to realize Lance is really freaking traumatized and not handling it. That while he might not agree with a lot of Lance's actions, Lance is hurting and broken, and they shouldn't turn their backs on him.
> 
> But I did turn the dial up on the angst more than I expect, but having them fight a little. It just sort of came out of me.
> 
> Anyway, if you want more background or info check out: [on the anon's ask](https://mizu-writes-kumo.tumblr.com/post/188711955910/voltron-au-where-lance-dies-in-few-skirmishes-with), or on [my Red Hood Lance Au tag](https://mizu-writes-kumo.tumblr.com/tagged/red-hood-lance-au) on tumblr.
> 
> I won't promise that I will write more for this idea. But I wouldn't be surprised if I do, which is why I made it a new work, instead of putting it in my one-shot collection.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
